Thesis will never leave you alone until you get it done

First visit to the campus:

Going back to the university after a very long hiatus, I met with my professor. We chatted for a while.

Prof: Hi Angel you're back
Me: Hi Sir, yes I need to enroll
Prof: Ah, there are no people in the offices right now due to the Centennial celebration.
Me: Oh, that's bad. I even filed leave from the office to enroll.

Sitting on the steps of our new building in office attire looking wasted.

Me: I feel guilty for disappearing from the academia for a long time.
Prof: That's OK you've been going out of the country for work.
Me: I still love the academia though. You know I've been very active in my studies before. My gradschool grades are so good they put my undergrad grades to shame.
Prof: ...
Me: So what's new in the department?
Prof: I'm organizing some kind of grad students lounge.
Me: Wow! Like an org with a tambayan?
Prof: Something like that. Math department has a lounge for grad students.
Me: I thought of starting a graduate org too a long time ago only so we can have tambayan and not sit on the floor of the corridor. I asked my classmates what they thought about it but they weren't so optimistic and excited as I was so I forgot about the whole thing. So how are my gradschool "blockmates"?
Prof: Oh M finished his thesis and is now teaching. P's already doing her PhD in Biophysics in Germany and R finished her thesis, got married and had a baby.
Me: Wow and all the while I developed about 3 thesis topics during that time. By the way, I have a new thesis topic.

***

Second visit to the campus:

When I tried to enroll, I was filling out one of the forms.

Degree: MSCS (I always have to explain to people why I took this relative to my undergrad)
Continuing? Yes (As always)
Status: Residency (For a year now and counting...)
Years in the program: 5 (Huwaat! Is it that long already?)

(Panic)

After re-calculating my years in gradschool, I realized that it's only my 4th year and 2nd sem. So I only have one more year to finish my thesis after this. Then I submitted my form to my once gradschool thesis mate for his signature. I panicked even more at the realization that my classmates in gradschool who have graduated since are now the signatories of my forms.

After filling out all the forms, went to the gradschool office to submit.

Gradschool office personnel: Sorry, before you can enroll you need to present a letter to the registrar explaining why you're registering only now.
Me: How come they didn't require me a letter last sem? I was on late late residency then.
Gradschool office personnel: It's a requirement and the letter has to be endorsed by your department head and adviser.

(Cry)

***

So I went back to the office and wrote the letter to the registrar to be signed by the academe people. I also had to do a presentation to my adviser about my thesis proposal definition as a form of academic courtesy so my adviser would sign the letter. I crammed it for almost a day and reviewed it with my 2 bosses at work and considered their comments and suggestions. In the end they both said it's good and I made them my external thesis advisers. I did make some progress on the proposal some months ago because I was already doing it at work with the thesis in mind.

Third visit to the campus:

After waiting for about an hour for my adviser to arrive, I began presenting my thesis problem definition to my adviser. He asked questions and gave comments. In the end, he doesn't approve of my proposal and suggested another thesis problem.

Me: But that's difficult.
Adviser: It's not.

(Faint)

***

Reporting for work in the office after my "thesis proposal definition defense".

Me: My adviser did not approve of the thesis proposal.
Boss: Really?
Me: He thinks it's too simple. He suggested another problem though.
Boss: And what's that?
Me: Something like (name of scientist) did. Modeling and parameter estimation.
Boss: Ha, it took (name of scientist) 15 years to write the code for that.
Me: I told him it's hard. He didn't believe me.

Still in the office before my performance appraisal. Checked my form and cringed at what I saw.

Target: Develop graduate thesis related to work

Why did I even put that in my performance appraisal form so I wrote opposite to it.

Results: No progress (can take this out of the performance appraisal?)

In one conversation with my other boss.

Boss: So are you giving up?
Me: I don't really need a Master's degree here at work, do I?

Hope

The thesis topic moment came after 4 days of obsessing with data, results and analysis then asking myself the question: "why does it have to be difficult, so time consuming and more often than not a judgment call".

I thought, there has to be a standard that people all agree on and that the process should be systematic. It should be automated. It makes perfect sense to try now that I've seen how hard it is and how not straightforward it is even if it sounds like it. We can start by building the very basic foundation for solving the problem and we will tackle one dimension at a time. Much much harder problems involving bigger and more complicated systems have been solved and are being solved by our scientists and engineers. If we succeed, it will be very useful not only to our discipline. I don't see why we can't succeed.

Dialogue with Dr. David Gross at UP

Introduction

The invite came from DOST sent to graduate students and researchers under the local scholarship. The event was co-organized by the DOST's National Academy of Science and Technology (NAST) and National Research Center of the Philippines (NRCP). Prof. Gross is a 2004 Nobel Laureate for Physics at the Kavli Institute for Theoretical Physics of the University of California.

The dialogue was held at NISMED in UP, January 9. The series of the Bridges Program-Dialogues Towards a Culture of Peace is being coordinated by the International Peace Foundation. The Bridges Program has established itself as an international, intercultural and interdisciplinary platform for creative cultures of learning and continued education for all people through lectures, workshops, seminars and dialogues to help raise awareness of a wider public for building a culture of peace.

Acknowledgment

I'd like to thank my sponsor, DOST-PCASTRD for the invitation. As anyone who truly knew me would've expected my reaction would be after receiving the invite, I immediately signed up and planned my trip to the university. I'm not sure if there's a comprehensive online resource of the Bridges Program though but if the above mentioned introduction (including links) is still not enough, let me know and I can lend you a booklet of the Bridges program. For the uninitiated, Dr. Gross is the co-author of String Theory, bringing physics one step closer to the Grand Unified Theory.

The Dialogue

Fast forward to the dialogue, people from different fields including physics, statistics, math and economics raised some interesting questions. Questions range from Dr. Gross' personal history of physics, winning the Nobel, his hobbies and interests. From these lighter topics in particular, questions were asked on how he came to be a theoretical physicist and what he felt after winning the Nobel. Dr. Gross then defined what physics is which is basically what physicists do and physicists do a lot. He described what theoretical physicists do which is basically defining the universe only with a pencil and paper. He also talked about the people he worked with and their expectation year after year of his winning the Nobel prize for physics.

More technical questions touched on the following subjects: theoretical physics and "crazy physics" otherwise known as general physics, quantum chromodynamics, String theory, quantum gravity, unified theory, asymptotic freedom and reductionism. There was a question on how far he thinks we are from the unified theory as well as the latest news on quantum gravity. That question was followed up with a good one about whether there are human limitations that prevents us from understanding a theory of everything. These were answered by a discussion on the bipolarity of human attitude--pessimism and optimism, of the great unknown and human's innate need to understand the universe we live in, the pursuit of science, the human mind likened to the limitlessness of language hence the former's infinite capacity to understand, the value of creativity, of seeing the world differently, of passion and of genius.

There were also academic discussions on research, rebellion, advising and of course grad school. Particular questions were how to encourage young students to pursue science as opposed to their parents' more practical choice of profession like law, business and becoming a medical doctor; how difficult it was for him to break away from a path in research and join another; and the qualities of a good advisor. At this point, Dr. Gross' talk covered the pursuit of science for science and not for fame or money or winning Nobel prizes. His advise was to follow one's heart and to love the work involved. He encouraged rebellion not only in research but moreso in the real world setting an example by criticizing his own government and personally taking steps to promote a culture of peace, tolerance and diversity. He encouraged challenging the conventional thinking.

Results and Discussion

I'm surprised though that nobody asked the professor things like do you believe in a God and is there an advanced form of life out there although he mentioned that he is agnostic. In relation to the quantum theory and question of limits to human mind in its understanding of the universe, nobody also asked whether at some point we are discovering the structure of the universe or we are structuring the universe as we see it although I know what the answer would be for a staunch believer of science like him.

Some comments thrown by Dr. Gross were about how lucky kids are nowadays because of the internet which provides ready information to various wonderful scientific topics. I agree of course but thought it's equally hard to sort out information off of the internet for the untrained mind. The internet is kind of double-edged because as far as information is concerned, it covers both the useful and rubbish kind. Even for the useful kind, at the very least it's a requirement to be discriminating of the kind of information and the source. Having said that, I still think the benefits of the internet far outweigh the negative impacts. Anyway, Dr. Gross also mentioned how comfortable grad school has become that it has taken graduate students longer and longer time to graduate. That remark earned appreciative chuckle from the audience and I couldn't agree more with that.

Conclusion

Overall, it's been a great pleasure to attend the dialogue with Dr. Gross. After the event, some students asked for his autograph and took pictures with him. It's just too bad I didn't bring any physics book for him to sign on. I was just by myself when I went to the talk and felt embarrassed about asking random people to take a picture of me with the Nobel Laureate even if I didn't bring a camera. By the hall after the dialogue session, I met former physics instructors in my 4 years of undergrad studies that ended some 6 years ago. One of them was my undergrad thesis advisor. I considered telling him, "hey I'm a geophysicist now" thinking he'd be glad to hear but dismissed the thought right away since there were lots of people and even so I felt elementary (actually kindergarten, well maybe toddler still) with a Nobel Laureate along with many physicists in the crowd so I just told him, "Oh I'm still a grad student".

Related Posts

UP Centennial Kick-Off
Beautiful All The Way Up

Post Script

If you made it to this point, congratulations. Here's an interesting question for you: which of those questions in italics do you think I asked Dr. Gross during the dialogue?

UP Centennial Kick-Off

Most of you probably already know that the UP Centennial kicked-off last week. But if you want to learn more about the UP Centennial, here's The UP Centennial Official Website. While at that, you may want search for the fireworks display during the UP Centennial kick-off in youtube.

I was also able to place an order for one UP Centennial Planner last week. I got a discount for being a graduate student and paid only 380 php as opposed to 500 for alumni. That's right, I'll still be a student this semester because I didn't file LOA but instead will be registering for late residency although that's another blog post altogether. For the UP Centennial Planner though, you may contact USC if you're interested. My planner purchasing was facilitated by a friend's org representative. But if you're running out of contact persons, let me know if you want to place an order since I will be in Engineering Tuesday and Friday this coming week to help out in our company's summer hiring recruitment as well as to process my late residency and letter of endorsement for another trip abroad (Yey!)

Going back to UP Centennial, I wasn't in the campus though to witness the program of activities of the January 8 kick-off especially the latter part for the concert and the fireworks display. (I mean if I had chosen the path to academia, I would've been out there.) However, and I'd like to add--more importantly--I was there the day after for the "Bridges-Dialogue Towards a Culture of Peace" dialogue by 2004 Nobel Laureate for physics, Prof. David Gross which I would like to talk about in the next post.

Children's Crusade

Then I received a Christmas card last night from one of them. I thought that was sweet.

Last year, I was glad to cross out one of the items in my to-do list and that is to sponsor at least one child's education. More than that, it feels good to be a part of their lives, no matter how little. I don't have grand expectations from them. Like I wrote in the card I gave them, I just hope that they are learning and having fun in school.

I have been a scholar myself, am still actually. I know how beneficial a scholarship is more than the financial assistance itself. It empowers the student letting him or her exercise his or her right to education. But it's also clearly a privilege that only well deserving students get. It recognizes the student and thus encourages him or her to do even better. But more than any of that, it gives the student faith and hope knowing that someone in this world cares and believes in him or her.

If you share the same thoughts about children's education and want to help. Below are the details.

Are You Ready for Gradschool?

If you're thinking of entering grad school, below are helpful questions you'd like to ask yourself first. The questions are categorized under some of the main areas consistently tested in gradschool: reasoning and sense of purpose, intellectual independence and emotional tolerance. There are no right and wrong answers in this test but only typical responses based on how people view gradschool. The personalities according to the responses vary from one who likes to put price tags on what he/she knows and what he/she can do to one who is entirely made for the academia. Which one are you?

Reasoning and Sense of Purpose

Your reason for entering gradschool:

1. I want to increase my income potential, my competitiveness and marketability in the industry.
2. I can't get a real job and am afraid of the real world out there. Gradschool buys me time to figure out what I really want to do with my life.
3. I want to broaden and deepen my knowledge on the field I'm passionate about. Going to places for conferences is a plus.
4. I want to work in the academia which is the only institution where I get paid to freely express and develop the various theoretical concepts in my head.
   

What will you do with an advanced degree?

1. I will use it for employment applications. It looks good on a resume, doesn't it?
2. I don't want to be out in the real world yet so I think I'd try a teaching position with that degree.
3. As if research experience itself is not good enough, I guess the advanced degree helps one to become established in the field.
4. Everything. Teach. Write papers. Publish books. To obtain more advanced degrees.

Intellectual Independence

You work best when you're:

1. Surrounded by your subordinates (or undergrad minions) ready to do what you say.
2. With a partner or in a group (just as long as you're not on your own--you don't want to be lost alone).
3. Alone, with partner, in groups in order of comfortability. You're versatile to some extent.
4. Alone. You breathe, think and work alone.

How do you prepare yourself to a sleepless life filled with late night classes, even more late night exams (and maybe office work at seven the next morning if you have work)? How do you handle a life fraught with papers and experiments, theorems and hypotheses, data and statistics, graphs and charts that you and you alone struggle with (aside from your fellow brave classmates who haven't dropped the courses)?

1. Sure I finished my undergrad thesis, didn't I? If that's not good enough, I can found an academic organization and name it Association for the Advancement of Grad students Welfare.
2. That's still a lot better than an 8-5 with overtime real job in the industry. If that's not good enough, I will join an academic organization called Association for the Advancement of Grad students Welfare.
3. Research is research for research sake. I'd take vitamins and food supplements, face the situation head-on and show off battle scars after graduation.
4. Are you kidding, I live for these things!
   

Emotional Tolerance

You have an obscure thesis topic which you and you alone (hope to) understand except your (omniscient) thesis advisor. You have practically nobody outside the academe who you can effectively and enjoyably converse with about your thesis and research. You feel alone. What do you do?

1. Change my topic. Why would I want to get an obscure thesis topic if I can't talk to people about it?
2. Why would I want to talk about my research outside of the academia? I don't know anyone out there.
   
3. That's what blogs are for. I'd name mine the gradschool life.
4. Geek. Nerd. Name it. I've been called names before. That doesn't scare me from talking to people about my research. It might even save their lives in the future.
   

Your highschool batchmate is showing off his new Ferrari while you eat noodles for dinner. He reminds you that his current industry job is the one you gave up for a full-time stint in gradschool. What's your reaction?

1. Tell him, "When I get my degree and land the highest paying job ever, I can buy a luxury yacht faster than you can spell it."
2. Tell yourself, "There's more to life than motor vehicles, research is a worthwhile cause!"
3. Tell him, "Very nice, do you want a voice-enabled map of the campus with Dijkstra's shortest path algorithm to go with that to save on fuel and eliminate unnecessary stops to ask for directions?"
   
4. "That's interesting. Now, going back to my paper..."
   

Dear Gradstudent

Even if this blog talks about life in gradschool sometimes with a little bit of irony, I like getting emails and messages from fellow alumni expressing their wish to enter gradschool. Moreso if they mention the kind of specialization or research they're interested in because that only means they have put some thought into this. Admittedly, I'm partial towards graduates of my undergrad program and even generally graduates of my alma mater (whichever campus) so I only have words of encouragement for them. This is usually how their message goes:

And here's my general response:

Dear potential grad student,

You're right, I'm back in the uni taking up grad studies. I'm glad you're considering going back to school. For specific requirements, you can refer to their website but generally you only need to submit your transcript of grades and some recommendation letters. There might be some grade requirements and prerequisite subjects to take but I think that's up to the panel/professor who will review your credentials. When you get in, there's definitely a grade requirement you have to maintain but that shouldn't be very difficult.

But really, this year is the best year to go back to the academia because of the centennial celebration. I know efforts have been spent on trying to increase professionals with advanced degrees in the country. Naturally, our uni is very accommodating to prospective grad students and have various scholarships to offer with different arrangements--full time or part-time. On specialization as well as research and teaching assistantship, you can ask specific institutes or departments and even colleges. You'll never run out of interesting research in any field that you pursue.

Best of luck,
the grad student

This post goes out to people who would like to join gradschool. However, careful thought should still be taken prior to deciding. Because if you think about what gradschool really is, it is a major commitment.